If you are looking for a happy, feel good post, this is not it. Move on. Come back later. Right now, I have to vent.

I hate this place. I really do. I've tried. I've made the best of it. I've gotten involved, met neighbors and made friends. But I hate it here. No offense to Georgia. It's a beautiful state, really. I've met alot of really nice people. But I just don't think this is the place for me. This past week, I've received 3 letters from 'my' homeowner's association that I am not in compliance...my flower beds need mulch, my weeds need to be treated and my children's toys need to be out of view when not in use. I'm not kidding. I'm not even exaggerating. Then I got a warning letter from the county that I illegally watered my lawn. With that I was threatened with a $1000.00 fine and/or 60 days in jail. "Hey, what are you in for?" "My sod was looking a little parched." The icing on the cake was a nasty email from one of my neighbors accusing me of talking about her behind her back. Seriously, I'm almost 42 and if I've got something to say, I'll probably say it to your face. It did hurt my feelings though. So silly. On top of all of that, I've been dealing with the 'builder warrenty guy'. I realize he has a boss to answer to, but is it really that hard to do it right the first time? How about the second? He 'fixed' my front door on Friday and now it doesn't shut at all. The painters came, and despite my telling him that I wanted all of the trim scraped and repainted, they only painted where it was peeling. They'll have to come back. It seems no one is actually responsible for anything, but everyone wants to hold you responsible. And God forbid you actually get a straight, much less honest, answer from anyone.

Really, I'm ready to go home. Back to where I know where I am and where things are. Back to friends and family and comfort.

There, I feel a little better. But only a little. I'm still in Georgia.

All in a Days Work

The painters came yesterday do redo the work that should have been done right the first time. It wasn't their fault. Crappy builder. Anyway, Blair got home and was going to take the girls outside. Rena went out first and Blair hit the open button for the garage door. Now, don't ask me why, but Rena decided to hold onto the handle of the garage door. You know, the one that's there in case you lose power and have to open it manually. (That's not really a problem for me, I'm a southerner and we don't really use the garage to park in! )Blair stepped back inside for something and the next thing we know, Rena is screaming. She didn't let go of the handle and it lifted her into the air. Then she was afraid to let go because she didn't want to fall. Luckily, the outside painter came to her rescue! Bad parents that we are, we didn't even register that she was in trouble. She was scared, but otherwise fine. Later, I'll see if she'll recreate the scene for me so I can get a picture. :)

Speaking of Night-Night

Rena had Budda. (pronounced Bud-u) Rachel has her thumb and her belly button. Riley, well, she's an interesting one. Most nights, Riley doesn't get her 'lovey' until about 30 minute before she goes to sleep. I should have been taking pictures all along, but I've only managed to get a few. You see, she finds some THING that she has to go to sleep with. Oh, and don't try to take it away from her. Blair found this out the hard way. Now, these things are not your conventional bedtime lovies. My favorite one is a Melissa and Doug puzzle which has three posts that you place graduated wooden shape on. Other's have included her bath towel, books, cars, keys...well you get the picture. So, I've added a few pictures to share. In one, she has a handful of books and in the other, it's an elmo phone. She's not asleep yet.

Night-Night

I think this video says it all!



Night-Night

"The Guys" mom had a boys thing and asked me to watch her girls. We had lots of fun. We played on the playground, made pictures and hats, and ate. The 3 year olds enjoyed dressing up. You can see the little princesses are still in costume. Here they all are enjoying a little watermelon snack. That's alot of girls!

The Devil's Tramping Ground

The Devil's Tramping Grounds is a barren circle in the forest in the Harper's Crossroad community near Bennett, NC. It is the subject of some of North Carolina's oldest legends. For at least the last hundred years, nothing has grown within the 40 foot ring and the phenomenon is thus far unexplained. A United States Geological Survey team could uncover no scientific explanation for the lack of growth within the ring.
Stories about the ring are well known in local communities. These include the disappearance of objects left within the ring overnight, and strange events occurring to those brave enough to spend the night within its boundaries.
Legend says that this is the very place the devil himself can rise from the depths of fiery hell, and come to earth. It's at this place, the devil walks in circles on certain nights and brings his evil into this world.

Ok, now that you know all of that, let me just say, I think my backyard, in particular, my garden spot, qualifies as Georgia's version of this. And whenever I've compared my backyard to the Devil's Tramping Ground, my non-North Carolina natives just look at me funny. Anyway, hope this explains it.

Aunt Mamie

I've been checking out Ancestry.com web site and finding my roots. Not for any particular reason. My mother's maiden name is rather unusual, so it makes it easy to research that kind of thing. Anyway, I was checking out her side of the family and I started thinking about my Aunt Mamie. Actually, she's my great Aunt Mamie. She and her family lived in Beaufort, NC. Every summer, we spent part of the time down in Atlantic Beach, which is just a few miles from Beaufort, and we would go and visit my mother's family. These were my mother's aunts, uncles and cousins. But Aunt Mamie was my favorite. She lived in a trailor beside her son and daughter-in-law's house. They lived on a farm. I think this might be where I actually fell in love with a farm. There was a dirt road that led to their houses and, being at the beach, it was really made of soft sand which felt great to summer's bare feet. The fields were across the street from the houses and they would always let us pick watermelons to take home. Feral cats lived under the house and there was always a new litter of wild, untouchable kittens. It was always warm and there was always tea.

Aunt Mamie was my Grandfather's sister and they looked a little alike. She was very sweet and always had a smile on her face...much like I remember my Grandfather. She had a bird that could do tricks. She had found that bird and given it a good home. She loved him. And that was the coolest thing I had ever seen.

My mother was an only child, and after she died, we completely lost touch with her family. It's a shame really. I did learn that my Aunt Mamie didn't die until 1995. that was a full 5 years after my mother died. I think she was about 98 when she died. I would have loved to have seen her again. Her son and his wife still live in the same place. At least I think they do. I should probably look them up, don't you think?

locust

I don't travel light. I'm prepared for most any situation. I have diapers, wipes, ziploc bags, trash bags, napkins, dog leashes and I just added a potty to the repertoire. I also have a variety of food products...goldfish, teddy grahams, juice boxes, etc. If you have children, you get the picture. It looks like a scene from the Food Network's version of Sanford and Son.

Yesterday I decided to take a few minute and try to see if I could find the floorboard of my car again and ,perhaps, restock. My girls think this is a fun place to play. They were shortly joined by 'the guys'. Within minutes all of the snack food was consumed and nothing but empty bags and plastic containers was left. They even emptied out the coin contents. This must be what it feels like to be descended on by locusts!

Dahling, you look smashing!

I don't know if it's because I've been up since 4:00am or if this is really this funny, but I've been entertaining myself by checking out the celebrities and, even more so, by reading the descriptions of them and their outfits. I always wonder what possesses them. Don't they have any real friends that tell them they look rediculous? Check it out.

http://movies.msn.com/movies/Undressed?photoidx=1

Screaming Nekkid Toddler Tantrum

Blair met us on the beach about 20 minutes before we were going to head in. We had already been there about 5 hours and I was ready for a shower. So, we stayed even longer and no one was complaining. We finally packed up the pack n play, the beach blankets, the chair, the sand toys, the dog and all food paraphernalia and headed for the outdoor shower by the pool. While we washed everyone off, including the dog, a little girl started talking to Rena and wanted her to come play in the pool. I told Blair it might be good for Rena to hang out with her since the little girl was older and could swim. So, Blair and Rena got in the pool. I was going to take the twins and the dog to the room and start real showers so we could go to dinner. For some reason I don't remember right now, I decided to let the girls get in the pool too. They didn't have their bathing suits on, just diapers. And the dog wasn't supposed to be on the pool deck. But we got in anyway and Max was on his best behavior. Rachel and Riley were loving being in the pool, but since I was their life jacket, I was beginning to lose interest. After a few minutes, I decided to go ahead and take Rachel and Riley and the dog upstairs. There were a couple of problems with this. First of all, I didn't have anymore diapers for the girls and I didn't have any clothes for them either. At this point, their diapers weighed more than they did, so they had to come off. Now I have 2 naked babies,one towel and a dog. Oh, he's not very good on the leash. So, I try to wrap the one towel around the 2 naked babies and hold the dog leash while carrying both children. This MIGHT have worked. But Riley didn't want to leave. She goes into the passive-aggressive, limp baby position, making it almost impossible to hold her, much less cover her and her sister with one towel. And the dog is systematically wrapping himself around my legs. Swiftness is my only chance. I finally get from the pool to the door to the hotel (gently knocking people out of my way) only to find that my key doesn't work. All the while, Riley is wailing "No, no, no, no, no!" I make my way back to the pool to call for help from Blair. He brings Rena and they go to the lobby for a new key, while I wrestle with 2 naked babies in one towel while still being wrapped in a leash by the dog. Finally, Blair and Rena return with a working key and some very nice ladies help us by holding the 2 doors between me and the elevator. Then they wisely chose to dissappear before people assumed they were with me. Once in the elevator, I gave up on the towel and let the naked babies rule. I'm just glad no one saw us in the hall. Riley's wails of NO continued until about 3 seconds before Blair and Rena showed up. Ah, peace.

Ray-ray sings and dances

grandaddy

My father lives on a boat half the year and it just so happened that he was able to meet us in st. augustine. I packed up the girls and the dog and headed over to the municipal marina for a visit. It was great to visit with him and it didn't take long for Rena to get re-aquainted. We hung out on the boat and ate watermelon. I think the girls ate a whole one!

St. Augustine

I'm not a big traveler. I tend to be more of a homebody. However, I do like being other places. I know that sounds weird. It's just the thought of travel that I don't like. I pack everything but the kitchen sink when I go somewhere and with little kids, it's even worse.

Well, Blair goes to St. Augustine on business alot and this time he decided to take us with him. A beach? I'm in! We were going to all ride with Blair in his truck and tow my jeep so I'd have a way to get around while I was there. This sounded great to me. I was actually going to have a little time to read, relax and maybe even catch a few zzz's. Once we were all settled into the truck (Max was on his own in the jeep), I kicked back with my latest parenting magazine and started to read. This lasted until we pulled out of the driveway and discovered that you can't actually tow my car like that. 2 options. Put my car on a flat bed trailor, which we have, or I drive. Well, the girls had already been strapped into their carseats for 15 minute, so I decided to drive. No need to confine them any longer than necessary. I wasn't very happy about this but I was ready to go. Turns out, it wasn't so bad. What I actually don't like about traveling is sitting there for long periods of time. It's not so bad when you're driving. Plus, it was just me and the dog. And my thoughts. I don't get to hear them that often anymore, so it was kindda nice. (No, I'm not hearing voices in my head. At least not yet. And even if they were there, I probably wouldn't be able to hear them over the din of my own children!)

The drive to St. Augs wasn't so bad. There were stretches of it that reminded me of Raleigh a long time ago. It was all lush and green and there weren't traffic barrels everywhere. All of that green made me think of my childhood and trips to the beach. There doesn't seem to be much lush green left these days. Everything is being destroyed to make room for new. But on this drive, while I could hear my thoughts, I thought about how it used to be. I remember going to the beach during the summer and when we'd return home, the yard would be all shady and cool, in that summer kind of way. We had a pecan tree and a maple tree that shaded most of the front yard. The grass would need to be cut and there was always the smell of fresh cut grass from one of the neighbors. The house would be stuffy from being closed up for so long and it's warmth would welcome you when you walked in. It was nice to be home. Those smells and feelings were comforting. I miss those carefree days of youth, and I'm afraid that my children won't have those carefree days if I'm not careful. The 'Jones's' push way too hard for our children to grow up too fast. But I'm in control now, and so, carefree and innocent it is.

We spent most of the week on the beach. It was great. St. Augustine is beautiful and I absolutely loved it. There were beautiful flowers everywhere and it was warm and sunny and you felt like there was really no need to wear shoes anywhere. Great! I ate seafood every night. It's the oldest city in the US and so there are all these great old houses shaded by palm trees, scrub pines and twisted old live oaks. The buildings and houses are separated by streets that are paved with old cobblestone bricks that are uneven and worn. You really feel like you are in another time.

We stayed in a hotel right on the beach, so each day, I would load up the stroller and set out for the beach. Me, Rena, Rachel , Riley and Max. We had to walk through the pool area to get to the beach, up some steps to the outdoor shower, across the gazebo, down a couple of step and then into the sweet soft white sand that the Atlantic Ocean had offered up. There's nothing better than walking barefoot through that soft sand. Oh, it's hard work, especially when you're pushing a double stroller, loaded. But it's great. It makes a kind of squeaking sound as you push on towards the harder packed, wet sand. Your feet sink down into it's warmth and resurface for another step. Progress is slow but Ahhh.

It helps to know the tide schedule, which I didn't, but the beach is really wide and there weren't alot of people there. The last day we were there, we got there at high tide, so I set up right at the water. The girls played in the sand and the surf, chased birds and made sand castles. Rachel and Riley took a nap in the afternoon, so I got to spend time with just Rena. Max guarded our 'camp' from other dogs and bike riders. Blair joined us in the afternoon and we all just wandered around enjoying the warm sun and the cool water. It was perfect.

Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa

Rena's friend, Felicity, came over the other day to see her and here's how the conversation went:

Me: "Hey Felic, how are you? Oh, you have the hiccups? (Felicity nods) You must be growing! We are getting ready to eat dinner and Rena will probably come outside for a little while when we're done, OK?"

Felicity: "Can Rena come out and play?"

All I can think is Charlie Brown's world must be right. All kids hear when adults speak is "Wa, wa...wa,wa,wa,wa."

Crazy Freakin' Drivers!

I know everyone complains about the drivers they are stuck with, but let me tell you, this area is full of some no-driving *************! On my way back from the Y today, I was at a stop light that is ill equipped to handle the traffic that passes through it at certain times. I had a red light and I needed to turn right and immediately get in the left lane. I could have turned right and stayed in the right lane, but then I would not have been able to make my left hand turn a half block away. Plus, this is the turn lane to access the highway. (I've been beeped at in the past for not making this right hand turn on a red light because I couldn't get in the left lane.) Anyway. I waited for my light to turn green. When it did, the driver coming from the left decided she wouldn't wait for the next set of lights and so she pulled out into the middle of the intersection, blocking my right hand turn. When traffic moved enough for her to be out of my way, not one, but two cars turned LEFT infront of me! Outrageous! Once I had finally turned and was on my way, an oncoming car decided to use my lane (I happened to still be using it) as an extention of the turn lane he wanted to be in. Crazy Freakin' Drivers! It's so bad, I actually stopped a policeman in the grocery store one day and asked him who had the right of way when a lane ended. There have been a number of times when my lane hasn't ended and the other driver has beeped at me or flipped me off. I think Georgians may need a refresher course on driving!

Beauty Queen?

Ok, I'm flipping throught the chanels and I end up on VH1's Beauty Queen Showdowns. I'm not actually sure that's the title, but it might as well be. I am horrified by this behavior. These mother's dress their little girls in these absurd dresses, spray tan them, color, tease and spray their hair into 1950's unnatural hair doos - especially for 5 year olds - and I just discovered tonight that they wear something called flippers that are fake teeth. It's what gives them the really creepy smiles and hides their baby teeth and any that might be missing. Doesn't this creep you out? God I hope so. I swear, there is a personality dissorder that must be associated with these mothers. And, there is always a flaming gay guy that knows way too much about all of the ins and outs of the things. What is wrong with these people? And if you defend it, all I can say is stop the madness!

Friends

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime."

Ironically, I just got this message in an email sent from an old neighbor of mine. This comes after a phone conversation with another old neighbor of mine about friendships. All of this has me thinking about friendships and how it gets harder as you get older to make friends.

A little over a year ago, I had to leave behind all of my friends and the city I grew up in, to move to Georgia. I was not a happy camper to say the least. Lots of people told me "You'll be OK, you'll meet new people, you'll make new friends." Well, I wasn't worried about meeting new people. I'm pretty outgoing, so that wasn't a problem. But what does it take to make a real friend? Maybe I've filled the quota for 'lifetime' friends and all I have left are 'reason' and 'season' friends. Who knows. But this friend making thing is difficult.

It was easy to make friends in high school and college. It was a little more difficult after graduation. But now that I'm married and have 3 little children, it's very difficult. For one thing, my time is not my own. I have to work around schedules. My husband's schedule, my childrens' schedule and my own schedule. Then, if I want to interact with someone I have to work around their schedule too. That's just too much work. What if it doesn't work out. What if I end up not liking the person? What if they end up not liking me? (Unlikely, but it could happen. :))

I have a handful of very good friends, that I will be friends with many years from now. When I look closer at these friendship, most of them were started before high school and up through college. There have been fewer lifetime friends made since then.

I have always been jealous of people who have a circle of friends. I have a group of friends and some of my friends know one another, but they aren't friends. I must say, my group of friends is an ecclectic lot, each bringing something interesting to the mix. But this group is not ever going to get together for beach trips or mountain trips or even all sit around on the front porch drinking wine. Even if we did, it would be such a diverse group, I'm not sure how well everyone would get along. What does this say about me? I don't know.

Anyway, I was just missing my friends. I enjoy that connection and I miss it. I keep an open mind though and I'm always looking for that next lifetime friend.

was birth an empowering experience?

I have never heard the phrase ‘you birth the way you live’. At first, I was thinking, no, I didn’t birth the way I live. I live strong and mostly in control and independent. Then, I gave it a little more thought. I have kidded that I didn’t give birth; I had my children surgically removed. This statement is true. I had C-sections with both pregnancies. I did give birth to three children, though and this is an opportunity to explore that a little further.
I tend to face difficult thing slightly to the side. A lot of people say they face things head-on, and this has even been said of me. But I like to think that when things get really difficult or scary, I prepare myself to be caught off balance; A little to the side and leaning into things. I come to terms with the inevitable and shore myself up to face whatever’s coming.
Well, I know it sound like I was terrified of giving birth. The truth is, I was. It’s not something I had ever done before and I knew it was going to be painful. I’ve had plenty of physical pain in my life and I was pretty sure that I didn’t want to do something on purpose that was going to put me in pain. And yet, I knew I wanted a child and I wanted to give birth to that child. So there I was, pregnant for the first time at age 37. I was around a lot of other mothers and they had all made it through the process just fine. I could do this too. What other choice did I have?
I didn’t have any doubt that I would have a normal pregnancy and give birth after hours of labor. After all, what are these big hips for. Little did I know that there was a curve ball waiting down the road for me. I started bleeding. I headed to the hospital. The doctor checked me and the news wasn’t good. I had a placental abruption and I wasn’t going anywhere. Days turned into weeks and all I could do was sit in bed, watch Dr. Phil and think about how I was going to have this baby.
Up until that point, my pregnancy wasn’t completely real to me. I wasn’t in denial. I just didn’t want to get my hopes up. It had taken me a year and a half down the road to infertility to get pregnant. Was it real? Well, lying in bed all day with nothing else to do makes it as real as it can get. I started to really bond with this baby growing in me. After all, it was usually just her and me. I loved feeling her grow inside me. I looked forward to the twice a day heartbeat monitoring. I got to see her in a lot of ultrasounds. How cool is that! I looked forward to meeting her, but still not so much the way she was going to arrive.
When she had finally gotten to a safe gestational age, we all decided that it was time to meet her. Let me stop here and say, I really wanted this birth to be as drug free as possible. I have nothing against people who get epidurals; it just freaked me out to think of having someone place a needle in my back. Or anywhere else for that matter. I didn’t want to be induced. I think far too many pregnancies are made more difficult because of medical interventions. I think our bodies are capable of handling alot more than we sometimes ask of them. But there I was with this decision. It was time. I hadn’t really let myself think about how serious a problem I had, but I was smart enough to know that it was time. So, the pitocin drip started and I had my first contraction. There was not much to it. This went on for 12 hours. Up the pitocin. Contractions. Nothing very exciting. Finally, the Doctor asked what I wanted to do. Hmmm. I really want to go home. And I really want to stop worrying about bleeding. So, C-section it was.
Because I had been in the hospital for so long, and had been rushed to labor and delivery more than once, I had a really good idea of what was going to happen. I had pretty much overcome my fear of needles and IV’s. Not so much for the spinal, but I shored myself up and faced that too. A few minutes later, my life as a mother began! That part was wonderful, but I carried some disappointment that I wasn’t able to actually ‘give birth’.
Gradually the disappointment over not giving birth was replaced by confidence and happiness at being a mother. I realized that HOW they get here is not nearly as important as them actually being here.
When I discovered with my second pregnancy that I was having twins, all hopes of actually giving birth vanished. But I was OK with that. I bonded earlier with them and didn’t feel cheated with the birthing experience. I was much more relaxed because I knew what was coming.
So, did I birth the way I live. Yes. Was it empowering? In some ways. Motherhood has actually been more empowering. Has it affected me long term? Yes. I think it has. I’ve had to let my guard down and rely on other people…something that is very difficult for me. I would have more, even if I had to have C-sections. It is a great feeling to know what your body has accomplished. And I love being a mother.

The Play System

We used to call them swing sets or jungle gyms. Now they are called Play Systems. And they don't come cheap. We had been talking for a little while about getting play equipment for the girls and all that we wanted with it. It was fun shopping and getting to see all the stuff that is available. We settled on a Cottage style from Rainbow. This thing is really cool and it makes me wish that I was a kid again. We probably got one much bigger than we needed , but we figured each girl would probably have at least one friend on it and we wanted there to be room for everyone. So, it has 4 swings (2 regular and 2 toddler), a rope swing, a trapeze, a rock climbing wall, a slide, monkey bars, a picnic table and something they call a general store. This thing rocks! I've put the sand box back there with it, so hopefully my back porch won't constantly be covered with sand. The girls love it. Rena is enjoying the picnic table the best, Riley likes the swings and dare-devil Rachel likes the slide and the monkey bars. Well, not actually the monkey bars. She likes to grab the board in front of the monkey bars and swing out over the ladder. I'm sure sudden rushes of adrenaline are good for my heart! The worst part about all of this right now is that our backyard is nothing but red clay. That will be changing this weekend. I've convinced Blair to order lots of mulch. I'm creating a flower bed too, and when that's all done, I'm going to have part of the back yard sodded. This has been no cheap project and wasn't one we really budgeted for. Oh well, the girls love it and if they're happy, we're happy!

The Guys

The guys spend alot of time at our house. Or at least it seems like they do. These are Rena's dearest friends and I love having them here. I am surprised that their mother lets them continue to come over though, since they are usually sent home much, much dirtier that when they arrived. In this picture, they are enjoying our lovely dirty back yard. They had also been playing with the water hose, which created the lovely red clay mud. All this backyard activity is because we are installing a new 'play system'. It really is cool and I'm very excited about it. More on that in another post.