"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime."
Ironically, I just got this message in an email sent from an old neighbor of mine. This comes after a phone conversation with another old neighbor of mine about friendships. All of this has me thinking about friendships and how it gets harder as you get older to make friends.
A little over a year ago, I had to leave behind all of my friends and the city I grew up in, to move to Georgia. I was not a happy camper to say the least. Lots of people told me "You'll be OK, you'll meet new people, you'll make new friends." Well, I wasn't worried about meeting new people. I'm pretty outgoing, so that wasn't a problem. But what does it take to make a real friend? Maybe I've filled the quota for 'lifetime' friends and all I have left are 'reason' and 'season' friends. Who knows. But this friend making thing is difficult.
It was easy to make friends in high school and college. It was a little more difficult after graduation. But now that I'm married and have 3 little children, it's very difficult. For one thing, my time is not my own. I have to work around schedules. My husband's schedule, my childrens' schedule and my own schedule. Then, if I want to interact with someone I have to work around their schedule too. That's just too much work. What if it doesn't work out. What if I end up not liking the person? What if they end up not liking me? (Unlikely, but it could happen. :))
I have a handful of very good friends, that I will be friends with many years from now. When I look closer at these friendship, most of them were started before high school and up through college. There have been fewer lifetime friends made since then.
I have always been jealous of people who have a circle of friends. I have a group of friends and some of my friends know one another, but they aren't friends. I must say, my group of friends is an ecclectic lot, each bringing something interesting to the mix. But this group is not ever going to get together for beach trips or mountain trips or even all sit around on the front porch drinking wine. Even if we did, it would be such a diverse group, I'm not sure how well everyone would get along. What does this say about me? I don't know.
Anyway, I was just missing my friends. I enjoy that connection and I miss it. I keep an open mind though and I'm always looking for that next lifetime friend.
2 comments:
I was JUST talking about this with one of our friends a couple days ago - they are thinking of moving across the country. She said it was actually her husband who was most worried about forming new friendships - he and my husband have been friends for their whole adult lives. His comment was that if he hadn't already known David, he didn't know if he would have made friends with anyone else.
You are right - in college there were kinda built-in networks of roommates, study groups, etc...Once you're a wife and mom it's harder to nurture a social life. Hang in there, though! Lots of great and lasting friendships happen when you least expect it.
I am really blessed to have a wonderful group of friends through church. When we moved, though, we left behind the day-to-day homeschooling friends that we'd had for years. I had one special friend, Karen, whom I hardly see now. We've tried for months to get her up for a weekend, but it hasn't happened. Her youngest son graduates this year, so maybe we'll do it this summer.
Hey! At least I'm across the street and our kids keep the same schedules!
I see you've met my buddy, Code Yellow Mom!
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