The Year of the Move

January 1, 2015

This year holds many big events for me.  We are moving.  I am turning 50 and all of my children will be in the double digits.  So much change.  And that's only the stuff I know so far.

I am not a mover...or a shaker.  But really, the moving part...not so much.  Let me just give you a little history.  I was born in the house that I would live in until I graduated from high school.  I would briefly move back into that house after college.  I lived in the same apartment in college for 4 years.  I lived in my first house for 11 years and only moved because I had to.  I've been in this house for 9.  I'm only moving because I have to.  I was not blessed/cursed with wanderlust.

My husband took a new job this past summer in Maryland.  He was born there.  He is working for a company that his grandfather started.  He is excited about his new job.

Me?  I have so many emotions going through me at any given time, I can't even begin to sort them out.  I did make the decision early on that I would not be moving myself of the girls until the end of the school year.  My oldest is finishing 5th grade at a little school I have come to love...a story for another day...and my twins are in 3rd grade.  So I have had a lot of time to think about and prepare for this move.  I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.  I will say, I can only focus on it for short periods of time.  It's like looking into the sun.

I'm not unhappy about moving to Maryland.  I'm actually looking forward to much of it.  It took me a very long time to like where I live now, and even so, I hate my house.  And for a girl that didn't move around a lot, a house is a very important thing.  So far, I've pretty much only been focusing on the positive.  Maryland is going to be a pretty cool place to live, I think.  It's going to be drastically different from what my girls have grown up with so far, but not so different from where I spent my childhood.  I expect it's going to be busier...more formal....I'm not quite sure how to describe it just yet.  I'm excited to be looking for a new house, one that I can actually put some thought into.  The last time we moved I had 2 breast feeding babies and 3 in diapers.  I wasn't really able to think about much else.  But this time, I've got notebooks full of information...schools, parks, homes, rec centers.  Really, I just want someone to take me by the hand and say, here.  Here is the dream home you have been looking for.  Here are you new friends.  And here are the wonderful children that are going to influence your children only in a positive way.  Ha!  Well, a girl can dream.

The reality of it is I've had way too much time to think about this move.  I'm hoping that will be a good thing.  I've had time to over think and correct.  But, it is constantly on my mind.  I'm either thinking about what kind of house and where, which school, what sports teams, do they have good dance classes, will I find another tennis team, middle school!  or I'm thinking about all the packing and decluttering I need to do, or I'm thinking about the logistics of moving 3 girls, 2 cats and 1 dog 4 states away.  It really feels like mid summer when it's hot, humid and you know there's a chance of afternoon thunderstorms.  Every. Day.

So, it's finally the year of the move and it's time to start mobilizing.  I've had all the thinking time, now it's doing time.  Today, I started putting away Christmas decorations.  All organized and solidly packed for moving.  It is the first step.  My plan is to pack up all of the non essentials first.  We'll have to see how long that takes.  But, it is finally a little more real.  We are moving.  Leaving this community of people I have come to love and respect.  Friends I didn't even know existed 9 years ago.  And start all over.  Fuck.  Seriously, I don't want to start all over.  But it is what it is.  And it's a good move for my girls.  I hope.  I pray.  I worry.

So, you are welcome to come  on this crazy journey with me.  It'll be real.  And honest.  And I'm sure at times, brutal.  I'll be open to any advice about transition.  It's mostly new to me.